#RelationshipsMatter – Remove These Words from Your Social Media!


Social media can be a minefield to transverse. You want to make friends and share your opinions without coming across poorly. Even if you feel strongly about a topic, depending on the wording you use, you may come across far stronger than you imagined. To avoid this, there are certain words in which you should remove from your social media vocabulary.
Hate – such a strong word for dislike. If it is a regular word you use, then stop! Regular use of the word can have you coming across as an angry, or cynical person. It can even bleed in to other aspects of your life by creating a more hateful attitude towards the world. Other phrases such as ‘I don’t like…’ can be politer and still clear on your feelings about the topic. 
Why don’t you… – This is one of those phrases that makes a person feel they are failing in some way. We all think differently and have different experiences, so there are those who may not know of a different way to do things than they currently do. Pointing this out by saying ‘why don’t you…’ can have a negative impact on the original poster. Using the phrase ‘Have you considered…’ is a more positive phrase as it suggests rather than demands.
With all due respect – You know as soon as you hear that phrase the following words are going to be disrespectful. They instantly put the reader on edge and awaiting something negative and critical. Consider the words about to follow that phrase, and if they truly need saying –is there a more respectful and considerate way of putting them?
The only ______ you need – The question is, is it really the only thing of its kind out there? This phrase begs for people to challenge you and prove you wrong. Many people use this phrase when selling their products or services but often don’t consider the negative impact on business if several others piped up with the exact same product/service to prove you wrong.
Slang – If it’s a professional page, unless it is directed related to your brand messaging, avoid trendy words such as fleek and bae and turnt. Not only will it confuse a portion of your audience, you could damage your credibility. 
Cutting out these words, and phrases, from your social media vocabulary can present you as a more respectful and professional business or entity while still allowing you to share your thoughts publically. Practice making changes to social vocabulary and notice the change in your interactions with others. 
 
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Hollie Clere of The Social Media Advisor is a “#BeAwesome” Developer, Social Media, Brand Builder, Content Manager, Trainer and Author in LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Google+,YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and the tools to manage them.

 

#RelationshipMatters – Being Compassionate Instead of Judgmental in Social Media



We are all judgmental in some way. Think about it: we see someone, and based on their looks or actions, we judge them. Not necessarily a good judgment, either. It often happens without even knowing the other person. The problem is we become judgmental to feel better about ourselves in the short term. However, being compassionate with individuals instead leads to greater, long-term rewards.
Let’s look at social media as an example. Using social media allows us to express ourselves and provide our perspective, yet sometimes our comments can come across as being judgmental. This sets you up to be critiqued by others in turn.  It is easier to forget about the very real, living being on the other side of the screen. It is a vicious cycle and the only way to get out of it is to demonstrate compassionate behavior that others will want to copy.
How can you be compassionate on social media rather than judgmental? Here are some simple tips.
If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all – This old adage is one we all heard growing up whenever we said something mean to another person. It is a concept to keep in mind when interacting on social media as well. Before hitting submit, think about whether or not it is a comment you would like to receive. If the answer is no, then it is best to not send it. The same goes for your own posts, flip the script and imagine it was directed at you instead.
“If you can’t think of anything nice to say, you’re not thinking hard enough.” Kid President

Watch your language – If you truly want to share your opinion and help someone, consider the way in which it is presented. Instead of telling the individual what they must do, suggest how you might do it instead. Avoid using words that are overtly negative, patronizing, or demanding. Instead use phrases such as ‘I find using such and such easier’ or ‘Personally, I prefer…’ this way you are demonstrating what suits you while providing them an alternative option.  The use of “I” statements is an effective technique in conflict resolution because it forces people to examine their own feelings and actions instead of pointing a finger at another.
Accept we are all different – What might work for you will not necessarily work for someone else. Why make them feel wrong for not doing things the same way as you?  For example, someone has chosen to use a particular system and is looking for help on it. Rather than tell them how the system you use is far superior, provide a few tips on making their current system easier to use. Perhaps they chose to do something for their own reasons or circumstances, which are probably far different than yours.
Once you are aware of behavior that comes across as judgmental you can start to change it into more compassionate behavior instead. Not only will you come across as a nicer person, but people will be less judgmental of you in return.

“Be somebody that makes everybody feel like a somebody.” Kid President


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Hollie Clere of The Social Media Advisor is a “#BeAwesome” Developer, Social Media, Brand Builder, Content Manager, Trainer and Author in LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Google+,YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and the tools to manage them.

#RelationshipsMatter – Message Someone You Haven’t Seen in Years



Friends come and go. It is a natural part of life. We grow up. We move. We change jobs. Throughout it all, the one constant is usually change. Occasionally, you may want to reach out to an old friend, or colleague, but navigating this process can be cumbersome. However, you can reconnect in so many ways, from social mediamessaging to good old fashioned hand written letters. If you want to kick it old school, you could even pick up the phone and make a call.  
Do a Little Research

There is always a reason to reconnect with someone, whether it is just to re-kindle a friendship or make a business connection. Once you know your reason then it’s time to do a little research to help guide your interactions and avoid possible awkwardness. Keep in mind the reason why you lost contact, it may be awkward to reconnect if the reason you stopped communicating in the first place was a bad one.
You may have known the individual very well a few years ago, but are you in the same place you were then? More than likely not and neither are they. Take a peek through their social profiles to see what they have been up to and what is currently going on in their life. You may find an opening to use to get in touch with them. Popping a Happy Birthday message across and following up or commenting on a picture are both great ways of softly reconnecting.
Connect!

The simplest way to reconnect with someone is by sending them a message, but avoid the generic ‘HI, how are you?’ lines as this usually leads to a short awkward conversation. Using your research try sending a more detailed question such as ‘Hi, saw you went to Hawaii this year. Did you have a great time? I went last year and stayed at (hotel name). Where did you stay?’. You are opening a channel of conversation based around a common topic. This could easily lead to branching out into other topics and building your friendship again.
If you are looking to connect with an old colleague the utilize some memories of working together, or find something that you know will interest them to share. Avoid coming across as a cheesy car salesman pushing a proposal that may not even tie in with their current activities. 
Reconnecting and building new relationships with people can be nerve wracking for some and does not always pan out but taking that risk and sending them a message does not cost anything and could result be socially beneficial. The holiday season is a great time to reach out and wish people well and ask how they are doing.
Who will you reconnect with this week? 

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Hollie Clere of The Social Media Advisor is a “#BeAwesome” Developer, Social Media, Brand Builder, Content Manager, Trainer and Author in LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Google+,YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and the tools to manage them.

#RelationshipsMatter – Write a Letter to a Friend

In our digital age so many people rely on text messages, social media updates and instant messaging to stay in touch with their friends and family. We are becoming more and more distant from our friends without even realizing it; relying on these quick electronic updates to feel connected. However, getting out a pen and paper helps you to connect in a much more personal way and can make people feel more appreciated. Here are a few reasons as to why:

Letters make us feel special – When you open up the mailbox and see a hand-written letter, straight away you are curious, exhilarated and happy that someone has taken the additional time to write you a letter. Many people keep hand written letters received in a binder or special box to look back on – although you can save an email it just doesn’t feel the same.
You don’t know need to write much to make a difference – If you have just met someone, why not send a postcard with a little note to say ‘Hi, was lovely to meet you today :)’. It can make them smile and help your friendship bloom.
You can focus on that individual – Writing a letter allows you to focus on that individual rather than make a generic message out to everyone, it forces you to think about the person and your friendship with them. It gives the reader the feeling that you are having a conversation directly with them and although slow – as the name snail mail suggestions –  the connection is consistent and continues to stay personal.
No pressure to respond instantly – all our lives are different and when we receive text messages or instant messages we feel it necessary to reply straight away, if we can’t we feel guilty for ignoring them. However, a letter allows us to take our time replying and make the content more valuable than a quickly typed text message. 

Not just for personal but for business too – Business is so fast paced that the last thing we think about is writing a letter, due to the time it takes. Instead of writing a newsletter, handwrite it as a letter instead sending it to those special customers who deserve a little more of a personal touch. Handwritten letters to business associates and consumers can allow you to let your creativity to show – especially if you are a designer. Additionally, there is less risk of it getting lost amongst other emails and more chance of people taking the time to read them – who isn’t interested in seeing what a hand-written letter has to say.

Relationships matter and the more effort that goes in to cultivating those relationships, the stronger and more valuable they will be. Letters are the simplest forms to foster those friendships, so take a step back in time and start re-connecting with your friends.
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Hollie Clere of The Social Media Advisor is a “#BeAwesome” Developer, Social Media, Brand Builder, Content Manager, Trainer and Author in LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Google+,YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and the tools to manage them.

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